Dating after living together
He said that he did not feel ready at all and that we should separate because he was feeling responsible for me being now 38 and the possibility if we stayed together and then he would not marry me then I would be left childless and that made him feel very pressured.I told him to go ahead and leave if that was what he wished.Also: Make sure you are never more than 13cm away from a bottle of wine. Blurting out "it's over", pouring petrol over the bed you share, lighting a match, and then stalking out of there in killer heels might sound like a plan, but real life is nowhere as fantastical.Have an adult discussion, with a clear idea of what the results are going to be.After 3 years of us living together, doing everything together, being all the time together except for the mornings that we both went to our work, he abruptly ended our relationship after going for a drink with a 47 year old friend of his who at the time had marital problems with his wife.So he returned home that night, a bit drunk for the first time in the 3 years that I was with him, and he announced to me with tears in his eyes that although he loves me more than anyone he is not ready to start a family and get married any time in the near future. Only in the most extremely acrimonious of cases will you not feel a wrench, a sense of something missing. And there are some things everyone about to find themselves in that boat should consider before they do: The old saying goes "marry in haste; repent at leisure" but it's pretty much the same for ending a relationship, especially when you share a home together.
Besides, he’d already had a set of stepchildren and I didn’t want to inflict all that on him a second time.
I don’t think our relationship would have survived if we had moved in together: he would have got annoyed at my children’s mess and the way I brought them up.
I think he thought me a slapdash and indulgent parent, though he was far too wise to tell me so.
But I think there are myriad reasons why living apart appeals to so many.
There are women who have worked hard and don’t want to risk losing their savings when an ill-judged cohabitation goes wrong, and men who value their independence — and vice versa.