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I talk about it with people I’m romantically interested in. For me, what I really began to grasp is that I was being by not taking the time to really establish that the person I felt so deeply drawn to was, in fact, a good, safe and solid match for me. Van Epp’s book is not really about categorizing whole swaths of humanity as “Jerks” so much as it is about learning how to develop the skill of building intimacy over time.

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Falling head over heels in love means, to many couples, having sex as soon as possible.The important question—if you find yourself falling for a slow-going man—is not when he might finally be ready for a serious and committed relationship, but if he’ll ever be. Is he moving at a glacial pace because that’s his style and temperament, or because his long-term interest in me is in the grip of an ice age?” There are men who will prolong the “negotiation” phase of relationship indefinitely, with no intention of ever “closing the deal.” Perhaps he’s in it for fun, sex, or low-risk companionship.What is the time frame that it takes a nice guy to actually hold a girl's hand or to give them a kiss (not a make out session but an innocent kiss).In addition, when does one know if they are in the friend category or still dating the guy if the guy is not showing any physicall affection other than big bear hugs? My grandfather is a preacher and lead me to Christ when I was seven years old.

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